a-ha!

k, so I am feeling like crapola. no, I am not sick, just blah. icky. double-blah. but I had a moment in the shower this evening.

I have succumed to the 200 block yet again. this is the point that I always cave and go back to old habits. those old habits are like the old sinful nature. when you are not up to par & activly working on your relationship with God, you fall back in to your old nature...the pre-Christ way of doing things. we were reading in galations this past sunday. galations 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." [NAS]

so here's my thought: if Christ lives in me and it is no longer I who lives, then EVERYTHING I do needs to be through faith and not by the flesh. I guess I have always looked at this in just a spiritual sense, figuring that God didn't really care if I ate whoppers on the sly or ate to sufficate my icky, blah feelings. He does care...and not only does He care, but since He is in me and I live by faith and not by my flesh, then I don't have to muster the will power to do anything, but I do it for a whole other reason.

I am still processing all of this...my revalation of His Word in this way...but all of a sudden, it isn't about me. not only is it not about me, but it really isn't about me in any way, shape or form. it's about everything I do, say, eat or don't eat giving glory to God. now, is this an easy fix? HECK NO!!

but...God cares and sees and knows and feels and hurts and loves and knows...knows me better than I know me, and therefore I can trust Him. not only can I trust Him, but He is with me in this struggle, in my bad eating days and in my good ones...when I don't want to go to the gym and when I eat half a box of whoppers on the way home from zellers.