Thursday, December 09, 2010

deck the halls

a busy day.  as they all are, I suppose.  I am having some problems reflecting on my day, in the evening.  it's almost like my brain is in such overload that I can't process.  so I won't.  not tonight.  I'll finish this up in the morning - when I'm in a good clear head space.

new morning.  new day.  better/different head space.  so I'll give it a name and give it a number.  {#34}  there is a verse in psalms that talks about God's mercies being new every morning.  okay, totally can't find the verse, but the lyrics from "Great is Thy Faithfulness" says it well - "morning by morning new mercies I see".  that's how I feel today.

I've been in a bit of an emotional fog the last couple of days - trying to balance my being busy with relationships. I am struggling with this.  people talk to me and in the moment, I'm there.  kinda.  I just feel distracted.  pulled.  tugged at.  from something deep within. my frustrations with my kids has been at about an 8.5 [out of 10!] and I find myself yelling more than I'd like.  this morning, today, I was reminded that grace covers all my sin {#35} the big and the small.

and maybe bigger than all of this, I felt like I made some progress on the ol' couch yesterday [okay, so my counselor doesn't have a couch, just a chair! you know what I mean!]. {#36}  spending that hour talking is starting to pay off.  I don't leave so frustrated.  so anxious to get to the needed spots.  forgetting that the journey is sometimes more important than the journey.  {#37}

and in other news - I'm going stateside for a mini shopping trip in 10 days.  two full days of outlet shopping and TARGET!  this little mini trip is john's christmas present to me [super kind, and forever grateful for air miles!].  there has been a lot of water that has passed under the bridge of my life in the last six months.  that's what happens when the rapids are more fierce than normal!  this trip is a bit of a chance to breath.  {#38} and be good.  good with me.  good with this journey that I'm taking.  and to just spend a few days taking care of myself.  and shop.  {#39}

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