things go round

it's been a day.  and I like mondays.  usually!  I was pretty good with the no sugar bit today.  mainly because I gave it a fair go.  and I planned in advance.  that always helps.  however, I was not counting on the MASSIVE headache I would get at around 1230.  yeah.  that lasted in some form until nearly 6pm.  grrr.  I caved at one point and ate 5 chocolate covered espresso beans.  other than that, all my sugar came from fruit sources.  and I didn't eat any carbs until dinner.  and then it was two pieces of bread.  and surprisingly, I feel okay this evening.  other than all the tears and yelling that happened in this house after supper tonight.  holy moly.  okay, so my pre-menopausal pms is in HIGH gear.  I haven't had it this bad in quite a long time.  all of last week sucked.  and today, I had an out of body parenting moment from hell.  there was a lot of screaming.  and a lot of hitting {mainly ty taking it out on me}.  and he cried.  and I sobbed.  and now he's cuddling with me.  but I just feel so helpless in parenting this kid.  he truly believes that no one gets to "be the boss of him".  changing his mind on this is becoming increasingly difficult.  usually I can be more detached with his tantrums, but today?  no such luck.  and did my head ache help?  nope.  sigh.

I did stay after school today and participate in a torture/yoga class with some of my colleagues.  headache or not, I made my body do some crazy things.  and I'm doing the same thing tomorrow after school.  moving this ol' body of mine is good, but I hurt!  and yes, I am officially complaining.

regardless, all of that to say this:  getting back on the wagon feels good.  I feel like less of a quitter, because I am now more of a "trying again" kind of girl than a "quitting again" kind.  plus, I feel like I can do this again tomorrow.  and I have all my food packed up.  and I've heard that if I can make it to the end of day three, that the headaches will go away.  I'll keep drinking tons of water.  and although I'm not a gum chewer {yes, I know there's fake sugar in gum...leave me alone about it!!}, gum saved me today.  gum, water and a package of peanut m&m's in my gym bag.  I am determined to have those m&ms still in my bag two weeks from now.

okay, the kidlet is being carried off to bed.  I have some fistful of mercy playing {I heart ben harper!} and I'm going to do some blog hopping.  apparently the whole day doesn't need to be awful just because a solid section in the middle was...WHO KNEW?  lol.